Grammar Tips For Surviving Nuclear Annihilation

Yes, the world has ended, but that doesn’t mean we let our grammar slide.

Joe Bee


If you’ve been watching the news, you’re probably convinced the world’s about to go belly up. And sure, they’ve cried wolf before, but this time, it’s got a little extra oomph, like a bad omen that’s decided to stick around. The whole Ukraine mess is like a ticking time bomb, and when you put it bluntly, it spells “game over” for humanity.

Remember the good ol’ days when COVID had us all doing the stay-at-home shuffle? It felt like doomsday, but we got used to it after a while. Well, most of us did, except for the poor souls who lost their jobs and sanity in the process — but hey, that’s a different sob story for another time.

But even when it feels like the sky is falling, it’s vital to hold on to what truly matters: family, friends, and, of course, the holy grail of grammarians — proper grammar.

So, here are a few nuggets of grammatical wisdom to help you navigate the impending nuclear apocalypse and leave behind a legacy of top-notch grammar, just in case a smidgen of humanity survives.

Active Voice vs. Passive Voice

Let’s start with a classic — the battle between active and passive voices. Passive voice is like speaking in past tense, and in the world of good writing, you want to keep things in the present, right here, right now. Check this out:

“New York City was devastated by an experimental nuclear tsunami device.”

Ouch. Now, let’s flip it to the active voice:

“An experimental nuclear tsunami device devastated New York City.”

See the difference? Active voice is your trusty steed in the writing realm; it’s smoother, it’s sharper, and if the internet somehow manages to stick around for a few more months, it’ll make your prose a breeze to read.

Let’s try another one:

“After the nuclear winter, what was formerly a roving gang of mutant children ruled America.”

Spine-tingling, but if your words survive the chaos, you don’t want folks to remember you as the passive-voice poster child. Let’s switch it…