Haters are everywhere, according to rap luminaries like Nicki Minaj. They’re at the store while you’re scraping together quarters to buy NyQuil and Yellowtail merlot. They’re at the dentist’s office looking in your mouth at all the cavities destroying your molars, and they’re at the coffee shop laughing when you realize you didn’t have enough money in your checking account to tip the barista today.
These people are rooting for you to fail for no other reason than they get a kick out of watching people fall on their faces like Joe Biden on a ten-speed. Do you like that topical joke I threw in there? People always tell me not to be edgy, but it’s all I know. Let’s break down the anatomy of a hater.
What is a Hater?
First things first, what exactly is a hater? Urban dictionary describes a hater thusly:
“A person that simply cannot be happy for another person’s success. So rather than be happy, they make a point of exposing a flaw in that person.
Hating, the result of being a hater, is not exactly jealousy. The hater doesn’t really want to be the person he or she hates; rather, the hater wants to knock someone down a notch.
Example:
Susan: You know, Kevin from accounting is doing very well. He just bought a house in a very nice part of town.
Jane (hater): If he is doing so well, why does he drive that ’89 Taurus?”
As you can see, haters don’t want anyone to succeed. There could be myriad psychological reasons for this, but most of them are dissatisfied with their own lives, and as you can read in a previous post, misery loves company.
Being miserable is awful, and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone, but these people are out there, and they wallow in their own self-loathing, and that’s a lonely place to be. No one wants to be around anyone like that; they know it, we know it, so they’re avoided like they have whooping cough. No man, or woman, is an island, and people need connection. When they have trouble ingratiating themselves with others, they lash out, and the hater is born.
Dealing With Haters
Dealing with haters can be tricky business. Recently in my YouTube journey, I’ve started to accumulate more than I ever have. It’s just a byproduct of putting yourself out there, so it’s okay, but it can be challenging to understand. The other day, I posted a news-related joke on my channel, and it got likes and views, but the haters slid into my comments to tell me how much ass I suck.
One dude was like, “you’re lame,” another pointed out how “wack” my attempt at humor was, and another decided to go in pretty hard and fully elucidate their feelings on why I’m shit and should quit doing what I’m doing. For the most part, I laughed these off because, as they say, “haters gonna hate,” but the last guy taking so much time out of his day to communicate his distaste for me got me thinking, hence this blog post.
It started innocently enough with him commenting on my joke (about Joe Biden falling off his bike) by accusing me of doing “conservative comedy.” First of all, I’m no conservative. I’m not affiliated with any political movement, as I loathe the entire industry. If you read my post about politicians, you know I’m not shy in communicating how much I detest these people and their ideologies. So, his comment irked me. That’s one point for the hater; he got to me.
I responded with a sarcastic comment about Joe Biden that wasn’t that funny, but I was on my back foot and lashing out instead of ignoring his subjective critique. Then, he hit me back with something about how he doesn’t like Joe Biden either; he just thinks I’m not funny. Whether this hater knows it or not, when someone says I’m not funny, that’s like a punch in my little mouth.
Haters In My Head
This back and forth went on for a few more hours before he decided to drop an essay in my comments section about how I need to learn how to take criticism, work harder, how he did stand-up comedy (so did I), and how I need to work harder to make my channel better.
Granted, he’s not wrong; it’s a process, and I’m still fleshing out what works and doesn’t. But the hater was in my head, so instead of saying I appreciate his insight and hope he has a nice day, I hit him back with a snarky retort about how he should think about pivoting his channel to motivate content creators. As of yet, he has not responded. Did I win this exchange?
Absolutely not; the hater won by a landslide because I didn’t brush him off and learned to love his particular breed of subhuman scum. See? There I go again, stooping to the level of my haters.
Nicki’s Advice on Haters
Nicki Minaj always talks about her haters. Think what you will about Nicki, but she’s wildly successful, and I happen to be a fan of her frenetic delivery. She’s passionate and talented and always tells it like it is. I wouldn’t go to one of her concerts because I feel like I’d be out of place, and I only know a few of her songs, but I respect her tremendously.
But when Nicki references her haters, of which she has millions, her takeaway is always how much she loves them. Nicki likes to think of her haters as keeping her grounded, forcing her to work harder, and fueling her desire to be on top. That’s a pretty constructive way to look at people who want you to fail and the best way to reframe negativity coming into your orbit. The next time one of my haters decides to take a shot at me or lecture me, I might just take their advice to heart and wave to them from my private jet while they eat cold beans in front of a trash can fire.
See, in my head, my haters are all homeless but relentlessly check my social media instead of seeking shelter or ensuring they can eat that day.
Jesus had his fair share of haters, the entirety of Rome if I’m not mistaken. But, like my girl Nicki, his advice was to turn the other cheek and love them even when they hate you. It is not the hate for you they’re feeling; it’s hate for themselves — sage advice from a self-proclaimed deity and the queen of rhymes.
Anyone who puts themselves out in the world will eventually run across haters, and it’s up to the individual to always look at their fuming vitriol as a positive and never play their game. I lost to a hater today, but I learned my lesson and got a solid post out of the deal. As I was writing, my foremost hater left one last comment: “I don’t know if you’re genuine or not, but I hope you take what I said to heart.” Believe me, dear hater, I did.
