How To Stop Hating Yourself

This is a stupid article, and I’m a stupid writer…no, no, that’s wrong.

As a child, I always wondered how someone could hate themselves until I started hating myself in my twenties, and it made perfect sense.

I was overweight, broke, and drunk all the time; my skin was splotchy, I had stupid hair, and all my clothes made me look like a schlub. I would look at my doughy body in the mirror and berate myself constantly.

“You fat idiot, no wonder you don’t have a girlfriend. You’re such a loser.”

During this time, I thought that if I were sufficiently cruel to myself, somehow, I would snap out of it, but I forgot the best piece of advice I had ever received:

“You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar.”

No one changes when someone, especially themselves, yells at them. If anything, it only reinforces those negatives you see about yourself instead of inspiring you to change them.

I’m not saying this didn’t take time, but after some practice, reading, and solitude to think about what was really bothering me about myself, I can now say I’m one of, if not my only, best friend.

Here’s what you can do to stop hating yourself:

Realize what you can and can’t control

For me, one of the things I hated most about myself was my body. I never worked out, I drank incessantly, and I ate garbage. That’s not a recipe for a hot beach bod, so when I realized I could change the source of my anger toward myself, I hit the gym.

I’m not saying exercise is suitable for everyone, you might have a preexisting condition that makes it impossible, and that’s okay; I only mention it as an example of recognizing some aspect of your self-hatred that’s in your control.

If you hate your hair, change your hair color. If you look in the mirror and you hate that you have crooked teeth, call a dentist, and if you can’t afford one, check out the fine line of products at Invisalign. They do not sponsor me; I think they make a quality product.

This first step takes a lot of honesty. You might be spiraling so hard into self-hatred…